“The day inevitably comes when the part of me that wants health more than sickness, or joy more than sorrow, or serenity more than turmoil wakes up and demands I pay attention. Finally, I am willing to try something different because the pain has become too much for me to continue. Then, and only then, do I surrender.” ~ Liz, case study from The Miracle of Change
The Loss Of Security
One of the hardest aspects of divorce is the huge amount of change you face. We are inundated with personal changes that are just an addition to the incredible amount of change that is already happening in the world around us.
Some things are supposed to stay the same, we think. “I can deal with the changes in the culture and in our country if my main foundation is secure,” we say.
Our marriages were our safe haven, our foundation. But through the divorce process they transform into the most unstable thing of all. But just how much misery would you be willing to endure to avoid change? How much anguish and pain, deception and abuse are you willing to put up with?
In the book, The Miracle of Change, Liz, a successful executive, made the following observation: “I’ll make a contract with misery if there is just a whiff of hope that I can control the outcome of events. Until I can’t.”
Courage To Face A New Journey
Can you control the fact that your wasband is leaving, or has already left (either physically or emotionally)? Can you think of a more profound misery than trying to convince him that you’re worth hanging on to when he has already decided to move on? Why wallow around in this pit of refusing to change any longer?
What has happened is done. And what he wants is clearer now than ever. You can’t change his actions, but you can change yourself. You can change your attitude about what’s next.
Don’t let fear force you to settle for a life of misery. Your courage will continue to grow as you move forward on your new journey. Embrace the change!
“I am holding you by your right hand — I, the Lord your God — and say to you, ‘Don’t be afraid; I am here to help you.'” ~ Isaiah 41:13 (The Living Bible)