“A man is not a financial plan.” ~ Dee Lee, Financial Expert
Before my midlife divorce, my then-husband was not my financial plan … he was, as I often told him, “my husband, my lover, my very best friend;” my promised life-partner. We had a financial plan together.
As baby-boomers, we married during college and started a family only three years later. I contributed to our financial plan by working until our first baby was born. After that I stayed home to take care of our children and things on the home front so he could concentrate on his career.
When Plans Change
Of course I would have done things differently if I had any idea that he would want to leave our “lifetime” partnership when I was 54-years-old. I had no money of my own. And though I had a job with the Kansas City Star in the advertising art department, did free-lance advertising work and helped with my family’s business, I had only a few years of employment experience.
I know that many of you reading this blog are in the same boat. After 15, 20 or even 30 years out of the paid workforce, you now have to figure out how to support yourself… and maybe you even still have children at home. Your situation may seem daunting at best, and hopeless at worst.
But I want to tell you, as discouraged as you may be, it is not hopeless! There are resources available to you. You will have to use all of your determination, discipline and faith, but you can and will get through this.
A Promising Future
Don’t let money become your security or your obsession, or your constant focus. Take a deep breath, get some help, and move forward one step at a time.
This experience, though challenging, can be the turning point to a new life for you, not just financially, but emotionally, physically and spiritually as well. There are countless stories of women in your position who have not only survived financially, but created great wealth!
You have your whole life ahead of you. And if you are a God person, you know you can face absolutely everything… even your financial situation, with assurance and confidence. You can have a life of abundance and blessings! Believe that truth… even in regard to your finances. Don’t be afraid of this new life of yours. Step out in faith. Be fearless! You’ll be amazed at what can happen!
“Don’t be obsessed with getting more material things. Be relaxed with what you have. Since God assured us, ‘I’ll never let you down, never walk off and leave you,’ we can boldly quote, ‘God is there, ready to help; I’m fearless no matter what. Who or what can get to me?’” ~ Hebrews 13: 5-6 (The Message)
My x-wife lived 4 houses down from me. She went to Catholic schools I went to public schools. We have been neighbors from elementary school to when she decided to not be married. 30 years followed by 15 years in the courts. Total 46 years
I relate to your story.