Money and shame after divorce

2018-01-10T18:11:02+00:00

Our money personality starts when we’re young. What do you think about money now? It’s time to figure that out.

“It can be life altering when you start viewing your financial issues not as a source of shame, but as a tool for personal growth, a doorway to new possibilities.”   Barbara Stanny in Overcoming Underearning: The Five Step Plan to a Richer Life

“Money is power.  Money opens doors.  Money allows us to help others.  The love of money is the root of all evil. Money doesn’t bring happiness. Wanting money is greedy.”  No wonder most of us don’t really know what we think about money.  Especially if you come from a spiritual tradition that subtly teaches that being concerned about money is not good; that our goal is supposed to be helping others; that if we love God, the money will take care of itself.  The truth is: there is more said about money in the Bible than just about any other topic. Even if you went from your Dad pretty much providing for you to your wasband being the primary breadwinner, after divorce you are completely on your own.  You are responsible for making the money and investing it and using it wisely.  In this time of taking charge of our finances, let’s first spend some time figuring out what we really think about money.  What are our financial goals?  What do we want to do with our money?  What are we willing to do to become comfortably self-sufficient and abundantly generous?  What does the word “rich” mean to you?  What is abundance anyway?  Let’s all understand that money can be good.  It’s when getting it and having it and hording it become your main life goals that it can become bad.  When money becomes your God, your security and what you worship, life gets out of whack.  But think, too about all the good that can be done with money.  Think about the peace that comes with being in control of your money instead of your money (or lack of it) being in control of you.  I’m on this journey too.  I’m working on this right along with you.  Let’s share our concerns, our insights, our new journey into this very important part of our future.  We’re all at different places in regard to how much we have, but the issues and the realities are the same. Our money is our responsibility and our future will in large part be determined by how we face that challenge.

If you’re a member of the MDRcommunity, let’s start talking on the forum about our financial challenges and what we can do about them.  Send in your ideas, suggestions, victories, defeats.  Remember all of us are smarter than each of us.

About the Author:

Suzy developed Midlife Divorce Recovery as a safe refuge for people healing and surviving the overwhelm of divorce. Starting her first RADiCAL support group in 2003 she's been helping women navigate the journey of divorce ever since.

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