Okay, I’m Mad – Divorce And The Holidays


Okay, it’s a couple of days after Veteran’s Day.  We’ve got two weeks until Thanksgiving and some stores in Kansas City are bumping Black Friday up to today ….. Leave us alone already!!  Let us calmly enjoy the holidays!

In reality, if you’re going through divorce, you’re probably not calmly enjoying much of anything these days.  Overwhelm is already everywhere you turn.  You’ve got more new things on your plate just because of the divorce and then add all the madness already surrounding the holidays and your life is anything but “All is calm … all is bright.”

Here’s a statement I found that really helped me those first few holidays during divorce.  It’s a statement by Robert Frost.  “There’s absolutely no reason to be rushed along with the rush.”   That statement mad me realize that I didn’t have to join the herd being hustled along with a feeling of anxiety and stress.

Robert Frost’s statement is true of the holiday season, but it’s true for life – especially during divorce. Don’t you sometimes feel we are all just being jostled along in a big rush to somewhere? Articles say that the speed of our advancing technology alone is enough to make most people feel anxious. And then add to that the onslaught of the holidays and the tension is intensified. (I don’t know about you, but another time I got that feeling of being trapped in a rush I didn’t want was during my divorce. Even though the affairs and separations and legal wranglings took more than three years the actual divorce seemed to happen at lightening speed especially after 33 years together. Things just seemed to push onward to their inevitable conclusion until one day I was on the court house steps … a divorced woman.)

In a little part of the book I’ve been reading, You, Inc. there is a story of an energetic accomplished woman with a bright future ahead of her. The reality was that after a few years at a company she was fired from her job, and then another and then another. Her problem? “Wherever she was, she was in a hurry.” Let’s learn from that. Let’s learn to be in the moment. Let’s enjoy this season and this season of life. I’m going to sit down and trim my schedule to something I can realistically accomplish from now until the New Year.

I’m going to take a deep breath today (and every day) and do things I need to do with enthusiasm, but with a contented peacefulness that I am where I am, doing what I’m doing for an eternal purpose. I’m going to be in the moment enjoying it. And I’m especially going to enjoy the individual people I am in that moment with.

And I’m not going to Black Friday today or the day after Thanksgiving because just thinking about that craziness makes my heart beat faster.  Most people want to simplify the holidays whether they are going through divorce or not.  It’s imperative for us on that journey.

Here’s something else that will help.  Order our Holiday Edition of the Divorce Survival Kit.  It will make these next 90 days more calm, more peaceful, more meaningful and even more fun.  Take control of this holiday season.  You don’t even have to leave your house.  Order online at www.midlifedivorcerecovery.com and I will get your Kit in the mail to you today.  In it, are things like the Surviving the Holidays While You’re Surviving Divorce ebook, plus all kinds of things just to pamper you and encourage you to take a deep breath and really enjoy the next 90 days instead of dreading the whole holiday season.

Do it now.  It will be the best gift you give yourself and those you love.


 Radically (and calmly)

“To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven.”
Ecclesiastes 3:1

About the Author:

Suzy developed Midlife Divorce Recovery as a safe refuge for people healing and surviving the overwhelm of divorce. Starting her first RADiCAL support group in 2003 she's been helping women navigate the journey of divorce ever since.

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