“Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.” ~ Euripides 480 – 406 B.C.
Engaging In Foolishness
I don’t know about you, but I did some pretty foolish things while I was trying to cope with my divorce. Often they were in response to some ridiculous thing my wasband had done or said.
Instead of calmly and quietly removing myself from the particular situation or conversation, I would engage in it.. and it wasn’t pretty.
Ridiculous Things He Said
In the MasterPlan newsletter, I sometimes have a special section reserved for, Mind Bogglers – Ridiculous Things He Said. Here are a couple of examples:
“I never really loved you … but I did like your mom.” Let’s see, three children, 26 years of marriage, a fun, normal family and there was never any love there?
Or: “You would really like her (the girlfiend) if you got to know her.” Nope, I don’t think so!
My problem was that I thought if I just did or said exactly the right thing, he would see the folly of his ways. How much time I wasted waiting around hoping he would realize what a terrible mistake he was making, and how hurtful his words were.
Most of us eventually realize that nothing we say, and nothing we do changes the path they have already decided on, and in some cases, committed to. Tears don’t. Shouting doesn’t. Letters don’t. Prayers didn’t.
But still, in my case at least, he would make a completely ridiculous comment and I would respond. And in the end, I looked as foolish as he did.
Your wasband is doing destructive, foolish things. Don’t take that trip with him. You have better places to go, and there will be fools enough along the way to keep him company.
“Don’t respond to the stupidity of a fool; you’ll only look foolish yourself.” ~ Proverbs 26:4 (The Message)
Love this blog! One of the best ever!!! Thank you Suzy!
Absolutely . Well written. A leopard never changes its spots! Radical acceptance and find inner strength ! No contact to such foolishness builds resilience !
About 2 months after he walked out on our 37 year marriage, he told me that our two sons ,(30 and 35) were not as devastated as I thought they were. Let’s see the 30 year old had our first grandson and told him if he finds out he had a girlfriend , he would never see his son again, and banned him from his 1 st birthday party. The 35 year old ( expecting his first) agreed with him that he would never see his son.
They we’re both devastated over what he did!!