How to Get Your Dignity Back Post Divorce

How to Get Your Dignity Back Post Divorce


“Remember to walk with dignity.  Dignity is one of our greatest assets.  Self respect is the power within us that makes us stand up to tension, to strengthen our emotional muscles.” – Maxwell Maltz, author of mega best seller Psycho-Cybernetics

Dignity is something I didn’t have a lot of early on in my midlife divorce recovery journey.  My self-respect was tottering on shaky legs.  I knew that I had tried my best to make the marriage work even though there were things all through our marriage that I had to apologize for and ask forgiveness for like anyone else in a long-term relationship.

But during the process of divorce, I often acted anything but dignified.  I acted needy and emotional and out of control much of the time.  Whenever I was even in the same room with my soon-to-be exhusband, I was a whole basketful of undignified behavior.  I begged.  I sobbed.  I screamed.  I threw things.  I would have degraded myself in almost any way to get my marriage back on track.

Maxwell Maltz believed (and his research proved) that we can develop any habits we want including habits like dignity, happiness, contentment.  We can develop those characteristics by will and practice … by developing patterns in our brain that reinforce those actions, even when we don’t feel like it.  The more we decide to act dignified, the easier it becomes.  The more we respond with control, the more natural it becomes.

Today, let’s remember who we are .  We are children of the holy God of the universe.  We don’t have to debase ourselves in any way for any reason.  Being filled with the Spirit of God gives us a dignity that cannot be taken away by anyone.

Remember who you are.  Act in accordance with who you are.  Let’s stop acting like a bunch of sniveling, wimpy, crazy women who can be pulled around by the nose by the actions of anyone … especially by someone who doesn’t care much about us anyway.  Stand up straight, head up, shoulders back and act with dignity today no matter what anyone else says or does to try to get us riled up.

“Do you not know that you are the temple of God and that the Spirit of God dwells in you?”  I Corinthians 3:16

About the Author:

Suzy developed Midlife Divorce Recovery as a safe refuge for people healing and surviving the overwhelm of divorce. Starting her first RADiCAL support group in 2003 she's been helping women navigate the journey of divorce ever since.