Overcoming The Grief Of Divorce


“The basic difference between an ordinary (wo)man and a warrior is that a warrior takes everything as a challenge, while an ordinary (wo)man takes everything either as a blessing or a curse.” ~ Carlos Castaneda, Anthropologist

Growing While Grieving

My mom wrote me a letter once that said, “things we call hardships or trials (or curses) are often actually blessings in disguise sent by God.” Part of finding the blessing is taking our life experiences as challenges.

Most of our real growing and refining comes when we gain insight and understanding about life through our disappointments and (what we see as) defeats.

When I was navigating the ocean of divorce, there were times I was far from shore and could not see one good thing that could possibly come from my situation. I felt that it was not only a complete defeat of everything I stood for, but an almost irreparable destruction of me. But I was wrong.

The Lord Is Your Strength

When my agonizing grieving period was finally coming to a close, my perspective started to change. Instead of dwelling on my heartache, I began to look ahead and search for the good in the inevitable.

But I definitely didn’t do it on my own. It was God who brought me through it. And it was the support of my family, friends and fellow strugglers that sustained me on the hard days.

The Bible says, “Truth, righteousness, peace, faith and salvation are more than words. Learn how to apply them. You’ll need them throughout your life. God’s word is an indispensable weapon.

Warrior Woman

In the same way, prayer is essential in this ongoing warfare.” Those are fighting words. Overcoming the grief of divorce is a battle. And this is not just an earthly battle, it’s a spiritual battle as well.

You’re a Warrior Woman, so use every weapon the Lord has provide you. And take heart that your ultimate victory is promised.

“Be prepared. You are up against far more than you can handle on your own. Take all the help you can get, every weapon God has issued, so that when it’s all over but the shouting you’ll still be on your feet.” ~ Ephesians 6:13 (The Message)

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About the Author:

Suzy developed Midlife Divorce Recovery as a safe refuge for people healing and surviving the overwhelm of divorce. Starting her first RADiCAL support group in 2003 she's been helping women navigate the journey of divorce ever since.


  1. Laura August 9, 2016 at 9:54 pm - Reply

    Somebody please tell me again this pain will go away one day – it is unbearable. How can someone who you thought was your best friend, father of your kids and husband for 22 years just walk away, have another girlfriend, be happy and leave you with the worst pain ever – how is it possible to go on.

    • Brenda Boazman August 10, 2016 at 12:31 am - Reply

      My Dear Laura,

      Tha pain will eventually get easier to bear. 2 years ago my husband of 31 years and father of my children left for a much younger woman. I was devastated and couldn’t breathe; however time has lessened the pain. I have learned some valuable lessons through this about me. The reason he left is not about you but rather something within him and the demons he carries. I will not tell you that it is easy rather it is unbearable at times. GOd will get you through. If you don’t have a relationship with him I suggest you cultivate one. It is the only way to heal and grow without more baggage. I wish you well and empathize with where you are at. Just breathe!!!

      • Debi January 11, 2018 at 6:40 pm - Reply

        I agree

  2. Laura August 10, 2016 at 12:08 pm - Reply

    Thank you Brenda. It is hard to believe I could feel any lower. I appreciate so much your reaching out to me. I have been praying often as have my friends for me. I used to be a very happy person, but don’t think I’ll ever feel happiness again. My kids are leaving for college and my husband, who I thought was my best friend, is gone. There were issues throughout the marriage with his reaching out to other women, but I just want to try again – I think we could fix them. I am going to see a therapist on Thursday and am hoping she can help me. Thank you again – it is hard to function when the foundation of your life, your family, has been destroyed.

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