Throughout life, especially after divorce, we spend lots of time feeling stuff. We feel mad. We feel sad. We feel brokenhearted and devastated and stupid and furious and unsure and just about every “negative” emotion in the book. As I emphasize in the RADiCAL MasterPlan program, all emotions serve a purpose. All emotions help us deal with life, and we often have reason to feel what we’re feeling. But we feel those emotions so we can take productive action to deal with the problem that’s causing them.
Here’s a quote by Florence Nightengale, legendary English nurse who worked unceasingly to bring healing to others. It’s powerful and especially appropriate for someone facing tragedy, like Florence Nightengale did with wounded soldiers and like women face with the devastation of divorce. “One’s feelings waste themselves in words; they ought to be distilled into actions which bring results.” That’s powerful!
Are our feelings “wasting themselves in words”? How many of us during divorce simply moan and groan and think and talk endlessly about how bad we feel? What we should be doing, like Florence advised, is to use our feelings to motivate us to take actions that bring the results we want.
Let’s all think hard about that today. Feel crappy. Feel mad. Feel scared. But instead of talking about those feelings (especially in that endless conversation with ourselves), let’s determine to do something that will bring us the results we want — a brand new and glorious life!
We have that power! We can make that choice. Regardless of how we feel, our best option is to take a concrete action to move forward. Let’s stop talking and do something positive right now.
“Forget about what’s happened; don’t keep going over old history. Be alert; be present; I’m about to do something brand new. It’s bursting out! Don’t you see it? There it is: I’m making a road through the desert; rivers in the badlands.” Isaiah 43: 18-19 (The Message)