“To show frustration is to show that you have lost your power to shape events.” ~ The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene.

Divorce causes anger and frustration. There is no getting around it, and we would be heartless cold fish if we didn’t get angry and frustrated at times. In fact, I went from anger to rage and frustrated to totally out of control on occasion.  And that’s not my normal M.O.  However, I have learned through experience and through the wisdom of others much wiser than I that anger expressed in out-of-control ways is counterproductive. One wise man (Solomon) put it this way, “… Don’t be quick to fly off the handle, anger boomerangs; you can spot a fool by the lumps on his head.”

Here is another thought from The 48 Laws of Power that would be worthwhile the next time your wasband or soon to be wasband makes a ridiculous statement or demand of you. This advice was given to Napoleon after he found out that there was a conspiracy against him: “No tirades, no childish fits, no-embarrassing after-effects – just a quiet and definitive severing of ties.”

How much more effective that would be than our hysterical fits of anger and tears. “Just a quiet and definitive severing of ties.” Can you imagine how your ex might respond? He would be incredulous … “What?! No pleading or crying or screaming?!” Next time you’re tempted to fly off the handle in a fit of rage or sadness, just try a controlled severing of ties from someone who is hurting you and who is not good for you. Your act of calm, confident power will be good for you and even better for him.

“Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools.” ~ Ecclesiastes 7:9