“See where you could use some more friends, and then find some!”
SARK, author, writer, creative guru
Last night in our RADiCAL group, we talked about connecting and reconnecting. It was a great class. We discussed the importance of deciding on our Deal Breakers, our Must Haves and our Nice-to-Haves in all of our relationships. Life is short. Relationships take energy. The truth is we can choose to have people in our lives who support us and help us move forward. If we need to we can “hit the pause button” on some relationships, as psychologist Sherry Danner suggests, while we sort things out. And we can decide that some relationships are too toxic or too demanding and let them go.
This last summer, women from one RADiCAL group got together to enjoy some fellowship, friendship, sun and fun. They are all going through the trauma of midlife divorce. But they have decided that they will not let it defeat them. They are sharing ideas and experiences and laughs and occasionally just relaxing together. Getting together with other women going through this journey is so important. As much as family and friends want to help, they get tired of hearing about our situation way before we’re done talking about it. So a group of other women on the journey is invaluable because they will let you talk as much as you need to. Being with other women going through divorce helps us see that we are not alone. It helps us see that other wasbands are doing things just as crazy as ours. It helps us see that other women have done ridiculous things like we have. Sharing makes the healing go faster. And it makes us feel not so isolated and hopeless.
Another group of RADiCAL women got together and one of their assignments was to do three healthy things for themselves. Then the next week they got together to talk about what they did and how it helped. Find other women who are going through and coping with divorce what you are and start your own RADiCAL group. Even if it’s just a few of you. Or you can talk to your church about sponsoring ongoing groups. I guarantee that you will gain strength and power and reassurance from each other and you’ll even laugh about things which is healing in itself.
“A mirror reflects a man’s face but what he is really like is shown by the kind of friends he chooses.” Proverbs 27:19
Take a look at radicalrecovery.org to get information about starting your own RADiCAL support group.