“From goulies and ghosties and long-leggedy beasties … And things that go bump in the night … Good Lord, deliver us!” Scottish Saying.
This little ditty was adapted from a phrase in print around 1918 and may make us smile.
But this world is full of really scary “things that go bump in the night,” and in the day for that matter. After divorce we’re often afraid of real-life goblins and problems that can simply make us nervous or absolutely terrify us.
We may secretly be worried we can’t pay the bills, or that we’ll end up being lonely old women who become hoarders or who never come out of our houses because we’re afraid of what’s coming next.
Fear is a powerful, yet very helpful, emotion … if we don’t let it paralyze us.
Fear tells us we need to prepare for something .. we might need to get our finances in order or change the locks on our house or take some other measure that will keep us safe. The fear of breast cancer makes us get mammograms. The fear of running out of gas makes us stop at the next service station. Those are protective messages we’re getting, and we should pay attention.
I think during divorce it’s the great unknown that gives us the most trouble. We sometimes can’t even put our finger on our fear … but it seems to just hang around our necks, relentlessly.
What can we do about it? If there is some level of dread, we need to try to pin that down. Make a list of worst-case scenarios and see if those are honest possibilities. If they are, you need to spring into action. If you’re protected against that worst thing happening … you can start working on the best-case scenario.
That’s where True Grit comes in. We will never be fearless. But we can fear less. We can face fear head on and stare it down and say, “Thanks, I got the message!” Then figure out what we need to do, and do it!
“Fear not, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed. I am your God. I will strengthen you; I will help you; I will uphold you with my victorious right hand.” Isaiah 41:10 (The Living Bible)
This is taken from the RADiCAL Buzz Newsletter that is part of the RADiCAL MasterPlan. For more details about the MasterPlan, click here: http://www.midlifedivorcerecovery.com/hope-and-healing-after-divorce/
October, November and December BUZZ Newsletters are also part of the Holiday Edition of the Divorce Survival Kit.