Setting Boundaries After Divorce


“This great experiment in liberty will endure and flourish only so long as we maintain the humility, faith, and character to govern ourselves.” ~ John Adams

Are you tired of political propaganda? I am. Even though I love our process of democracy (as messy as it is), I’m tired of being bombarded by misleading ads and the constant chatter of people trying to convince me about one issue or another.

But despite the annoyance of overloads of slanted marketing, the freedom in which we are granted to express ourselves without fear of persecution in our country is indeed a blessing.

Freedom Within Boundaries

My brother used to say that freedom is only found within boundaries. At first glance, that may seem like a contradiction. But unless we live within boundaries, our world is complete chaos. If each person is “free to do his own thing,” with no amount of accountability, then everyone would have license to murder, steal, lie, abuse or take someone else’s wife.

There are Spirit-inspired moral laws that give us distinct boundary lines (for our good), that should not be crossed. Freedom only works when we all have the moral backbone to govern ourselves.

Broken Promises

In the case of our own midlife divorces as Christian women, I think we all had the obligation to say, “This is not how it’s supposed to be.” We had a God-given right to honesty, faithfulness, and the fulfillment of our promises to cherish and protect each other.

If we, or our partner, decide to disregard the sacred boundaries in which we proclaim on our wedding day, then we will never experience the true, beautiful freedom of a lasting marriage as the Lord intended it to be.

“The Lord is the Spirit who gives them life, and where he is there is freedom.” ~ 2 Corinthians 3:17 (The Living Bible)

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About the Author:

Suzy developed Midlife Divorce Recovery as a safe refuge for people healing and surviving the overwhelm of divorce. Starting her first RADiCAL support group in 2003 she's been helping women navigate the journey of divorce ever since.


  1. Laura August 5, 2012 at 9:49 pm - Reply

    Coming back after divorce is hard for annoye. You got divorce in the first place because something in the relationship went wrong. If you learn from those mistake and try like hell to avoid those same mistakes, then you can make the new relationship different and possibly last. It is important that you definitely learn from what happened before, otherwise, you need to be by yourself.

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