Sex After Midlife Divorce

2018-01-10T18:10:24+00:00

“Two-thirds of people with HERPES show no symptoms.” ~ Cameron Tuttle, The Paranoid’s Pocket Guide 

I feel like a dorm mother at the college of Advanced Midlife Divorce Recovery Studies. I worry about you. I want to tell you, like I used to tell my daughter before a date, “remember who you are, Who’s you are and what you stand for.”

Some on this site are not ready for dating at all, but I know some are at least exploring the possibility and testing out the waters.

Loneliness

Most RADiCAL women struggle with a deep feeling of loneliness that they have never before experienced. I know I did. In fact, in research I did a couple of years back, loneliness is always one of the top three in a long list of challenges women have during this journey.

One woman in my very first RADiCAL group said words to this effect: “I would just like to put a sack over a man’s head and a sack over mine and have a good screw. I don’t want any commitment. I don’t want a long-term relationship. I just want to be in someone’s arms for a few hours.”

I think we can all relate to that feeling on some level. Divorce, and the recovery period afterwards are lonely, and the absence of physical touch can be a devastating loss.

Guard Your Heart & Body

It is common for women to get into new relationships before they are ready, simply because they are hungry for the physical closeness. Be careful. Guard your heart.

If you are beginning to explore online dating, don’t do it until you read the “Ten Essential Tips for Online Dating Safety”. You have enough to worry about without adding herpes/or an unexpected pregnancy to your plate. And remember that your wasband may have been exposed to STDs by his girlfiend(s). It’s embarrassing, but have yourself tested.

P.S. Here’s one more piece of knowledge you should pay attention to: middle-aged men are the group least likely to use condoms.  (Maybe they don’t worry about getting a middle aged woman pregnant.) Again, I feel like a dorm mother here, but seriously guard both your heart and your body!

“Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” ~ Proverbs 4:23 (NIV)

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About the Author:

Suzy developed Midlife Divorce Recovery as a safe refuge for people healing and surviving the overwhelm of divorce. Starting her first RADiCAL support group in 2003 she's been helping women navigate the journey of divorce ever since.

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