“Mentors can become friends. ‘It’s very different than another friend, who might be sympathetic but just can’t understand from personal experience.” Matt Ferstler, cancer survivor (Wall Street Journal)
Hearing from someone who has thrived after midlife divorce that life will be good again is invaluable. Matt recalls his mentor’s first e-mail that said, “I can tell you from experience that you are going to pull through this.” It was the first time anyone had said those words to him and they made a difference. The trip through recovery after a midlife divorce can be just as scary and exhausting as the trip through cancer. The main reason that I wrote my book and started this site and am committed to getting R.A.D.I.C.A.L. Women connected is because I did so poorly with my own trip. I made mistakes that I can warn others about. I learned lessons from failures and from victories, and I wanted to pass those along. But most of all, I wanted to reassure women that even though their marriage did not survive, they would; and that there is a phenomenal life for you in spite of (and maybe because of) your divorce. That truth has played out so strongly in my own life that my main goal is to help others see not just the destruction after divorce, but the opportunity for a life, as I love to say, “beyond your wildest dreams.” I like to say it because it is absolutely true. And I think, because I spent years in that desperate lonely pit of despair after my divorce, that my words have credibility.
But I also want you to know that even though you still may feel weak and sad and mad, you have already learned valuable lessons that you can share with others on the recovery road, too. A few months can teach amazing lessons that you can pass along to someone else just starting out. My dream is that with all of us working together and sharing what we’ve learned and asking advice and giving advice that we can cut the recovery time dramatically. That’s why I am trying to get everyone who visits this site to try the MDRcommunity. Both as givers and receivers. I myself am encouraged every single day by the posts on the site. Some amazing mentoring going on there. Our group is fairly small right now, but growing every day. Take time often to add your word of encouragement to someone else on the site. You’ll feel better and your words of wisdom will help move the whole group forward. You can try it for just $1.00. Plus, when you stay on as a member for a month after your free 15 days, you get a copy of Radical Recovery: Transforming the Despair of Your Divorce into an Unexpected Good. My phone number is 816-941-4911 if you have questions.
Membership is an investment that pays huge dividends in recovery. Forming relationships with other women, learning about finding joy again, getting the free Radical Recovery book, a daily blog sent to your e-mail, and accessing resource articles will make the process faster. Plus, with mentors around you who understand, the process is less lonely and scary.
If you’re not a member of our community, try it out and see if it doesn’t make a positive difference. If you don’t think it’s worth your investment, you can cancel at any time.
“He (God) comes alongside us when we go through hard times, and before you know it, he brings us alongside someone else who is going through hard times so that we can be there for that person just as God was there for us.” I Corinthians 1:3, 4 (The Message)