While many people are caught off guard when they discover their spouse is cheating on them, there are usually some signs of a cheating wife.
- A change in her habits or routine
- Frequently arriving late or skipping out on family obligations
- Frequently going out
- Acting secretly
- Acting indifferently
- Having communication problems
- A change in physical appearance
- A change in the bedroom
While these signs may often indicate a problem in your marriage, they are not necessarily surefire signs your wife is cheating. We talk more about these possible indicators below and how to tell if your wife is cheating or hiding something else.
Habits & Routine
A fundamental change in your wife’s habits or routine is one of the most common signs of a wife cheating. For example, your wife’s personality may have seemed to change. She may start – or stop – arguing with you about seemingly small problems. She might have picked up a new hobby or might be spending significant time away from you and the family. Your wife may be projecting some of her negative feelings onto you or trying to justify her actions.
Read more: Can A Marriage Survive Infidelity?
Changes in your wife’s schedule can indicate that there is a problem in your marriage, and possibly infidelity. Here are some possible signs that your wife is cheating:
If your wife who has never had to work late before suddenly starts coming home late on multiple days, this may indicate she is cheating. Your spouse may be lying about working late to cover for her absences with another partner. Or, she may actually be staying late because she’s interested in a coworker. Working late could be a sign your wife is cheating with a coworker.
Other unexplained absences are another possible indicator of a cheating spouse. For example, your spouse may have recently given a slew of excuses for why she is getting home late or missing plans, like:
- Flat tires
- A dead car battery
- Taking up a new hobby
- Working out at the gym
Your wife may also forget important obligations, like picking the kids up from school or your anniversary date.
Going Out More
Your wife may suddenly start going out more with her single or newly separated or divorced friends. You might even notice that she doesn’t wear her wedding ring while out or that she returns home without wearing it.
She might have also picked up some new friends recently. If she has new female friends, she might have also been meeting new men. This could also be a sign your wife is cheating with another woman.
If you are suddenly unable to reach your previously dependable wife who always answers your calls, you might need to start seriously considering, “Is my wife cheating?” She might be spending more time with a new love interest and doesn’t want to answer her phone while he’s around. She may make seemingly plausible excuses, such as driving, being in a meeting, or being in a “dead zone.” However, frequent excuses may mean trouble is brewing in your marriage.
Different Spending Patterns
If you’re looking to prove signs your wife is cheating, you may be able to find them in your credit card and bank statements. Your wife may have different spending habits, such as going to places where she never used to go or suddenly spending money on new clothes or hotel stays.
Other financial signs that your wife may be cheating include:
- She opened a new bank account or credit card account
- She is missing money from her account
- She always rushes to get the mail before you can check it
- She opens a post office box or other place to get mail in private
- She changes the settings so that you can no longer get notifications about mail you’ve received
- She starts using cash to pay for things
- She starts lying or being secretive about her spending habits
Secrecy, Lying & Avoidance
Secrecy, lying, and avoidance are common signs of cheating. Your wife may start lying about little things to cover up her bad acts. As she gets more accustomed to lying, she might start feeling okay with telling bigger lies.
Avoidance can also be a sign of cheating. You might find that your wife is:
- Physically avoiding you
- Avoiding intimacy with you
- Sleeping in another room or coming to bed after you’ve fallen asleep
- Avoiding talking about the future or making big purchases
- Showing no interest in going places or doing things with you
You might also notice some of your wife’s friends also avoiding you because they feel uncomfortable knowing the intimate details of your marriage and possibly her affair.
Apathy & Indifference
Your wife’s affair may be because of depression. She may realize the marriage is over or feel despondent about your marriage. Apathy and indifferent behavior are potential signs that your spouse is cheating.
Some warning signs to look out for include:
- Your spouse acts indifferent toward everything in her life, including her job, you, your children, hobbies, and her future
- Your spouse seems bored or distracted
- Your spouse no longer shows an interest in keeping the house clean or other domestic duties
- Your spouse no longer cares about family events like birthdays, holidays, family reunions, or anniversaries like she used to
- Your spouse does not show any jealousy over you
Different Behavior With Technology
Cell phones, computers, tablets, apps, and other forms of technology are often used to help facilitate affairs. You may notice that your wife is suddenly secretive with technology. She may have changed her password when you two previously grabbed each other’s devices without any concern. Your wife may suddenly be using her phone or computer more often than usual. She might be staying up late and receiving text messages or emails. She might be deleting messages or call logs right after receiving a call.
If you’re looking for signs about “how to catch my wife cheating,” here are some technological signs to look out for:
- Your spouse deletes texts and clears her browsing history every day
- Your spouse guards her phone like her life depends on it
- Your spouse keeps her phone password-protected at all times
- Your spouse refuses to ever let you see her phone, even for innocent uses like putting in a GPS request
- You find a new phone or device that your spouse uses
- Your wife’s technological behavior is a lot different than it used to be
- Your spouse starts posting more often or differently on her social media accounts
If you and your spouse share a phone plan, you might be able to uncover some proof of her affair by looking up a shared photo account, checking on her social media accounts, or monitoring her online activity.
When a woman cheats, it is often because she feels she is lacking something emotionally. She may feel disconnected from her spouse. She might even tell you she’s not happy. Your wife may think about her unhappiness for quite some time before stepping out.
Your spouse may find it harder to communicate with you. Or, she may try to fight with you to have an excuse to leave or to justify her own behavior. Whatever the underlying reason, a communication breakdown is never a good thing in your relationship.
Some signs of communication problems include:
- Your spouse is fighting with you all of the time
- Your wife gets defensive over innocent comments
- Your spouse no longer says she loves you
- Your spouse ignores what you say
- Your spouse belittles or criticizes you
- They act judgmental with you
- Everything seems to bother your wife
- Your wife changes the subject to avoid uncomfortable topics, like where they were or what they were doing
- Your wife makes excuses for why she can’t talk
- Your wife refuses to answer innocent questions
- Your wife rolls her eyes at you or uses negative body language
They Accuse You of Cheating
This is another telltale sign of cheating and can be a form of gaslighting. Your spouse may try to project their cheating onto you. They might suddenly start accusing you of cheating. They might assume you are doing the same thing they are. When you make an innocent comment about something, they may pick a fight or say that you are lying. They might even suggest that you are trying to cover something else up.
It’s a common tactic for cheaters to accuse others of cheating. It’s a form of manipulation and an attempt to take the focus off of them and put it on you. By wasting time trying to defend yourself for something you haven’t even done, they can deflect the attention away from their own behavior.
A sudden change in your wife’s appearance can be a physical sign your wife is cheating. She might be spending more time focusing on her appearance than usual because she wants to look good for her new beau.
Some warning signs to look out for include:
- Your wife is working out more or eating healthier
- Your wife has lost weight
- Your wife is spending more money on nicer and sexier clothes
- Your wife is wearing a new perfume
- Your wife gets her hair cut or starts styling her hair differently
- You spot new underwear or lingerie in your wife’s drawers that you don’t recognize
While caring about her own health and appearance is not necessarily a bad sign, it can spell trouble when coupled with some of the other suspicious behaviors, especially if your wife still looks the same at home but significantly better at work or social functions.
Changes in Your Sex Life
Some men are surprised to find out after a sudden surge in their sex life that their wife has been cheating. They may be shocked because their sex life has recently seemed better. This may be because their wife is feeling guilty for stepping out of the marriage. Or, it could mean that she is trying to release her sexual frustration while she can’t be with her new dude. She may even start introducing new things in the bedroom that she has recently tried out with the new guy or that she wants to experiment – with him.
A decline in your sex life can also indicate trouble in paradise. You may have less sex, worse sex, or no sex at all. This is because your wife may feel disconnected from you or even that she would be cheating on her new guy by being intimate with you.
“I was in Miami with my HUSBAND and his parent for vacation. We had flown there on their private jet for a
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