“Be outrageous — and slam that door! As you do so remind yourself that your recklessness is nothing but the expression of a cosmic urge to challenge the general tendency of things to ebb toward a lukewarm and boring equilibrium.” ~ The Art of Imperfection
I’m not advocating for a state of constant agitation, or flying off the handle all the time. But every once in a while it’s okay to slam a door, throw something, or hit something (… as long as you’re not hurting yourself, someone else or someone else’s property of course.)
During my midlife divorce recovery journey, there were more than a few times when I was completely out of control with rage (which is not my nature).
I once destroyed a basket by repeatedly slamming it against a door in our house. I ruined a roll of Christmas wrapping paper by hitting anything I could find. I threw a plate of spaghetti in the yard. And, last but not least, I completely destroyed some gifts my wasband purchased for his girlfriend with a hammer.
And you know what, I had a right to be furious in each of those cases. And causing a little destruction definitely made me feel better!
Dana Hood, author of I Will Change Your Name, tells the story of a friend who has a wailing wall, complete with stacks of old dishes. When someone needs an outlet for their rage, she leads you to “the wall” and lets you loose to throw and smash uninhibited! Heck, Jesus Christ himself got furious enough about the bad behavior of people that he knocked over tables and sent stuff flying!
So, go ahead; smash something if you need to! Slam a door! Then you can take a deep breath and calmly get back to coping with your divorce as your normal, in-control self.
“I know you well — you are neither hot nor cold; I wish you were one or the other! But since you are merely lukewarm, I will spit you out of my mouth!” ~ Revelation 3:15-16 (The Living Bible)
A free-standing heavy bag did it for me. And kickboxing classes. The additional bonus is getting in shape while having at it.