Accepting Divorce: Abandoning The Rut Of Negativity


“The longer we stay on the path of negativity, the more ingrained negativity becomes and that breeds more negativity. Pretty soon we’re stuck in the negativity ditch, and that’s not pretty. Get out now! Keep out of ruts; a rut is something which if traveled in too much, becomes a ditch.” ~ Arthur Giterman

The Rut of Negativity

During any prolonged period of pain, sadness, anger or fear it is easy to fall into a rut. As a “survivor” of midlife divorce myself, I fully understand that there are plenty of things to be upset about right now.

It seems that with each passing day during the divorce process, there is something new to make you angry or sad. But the longer we dwell on the negative aspects of our situation, the more entrenched we become.

Surrounded By Hardship

So how can we process the hardship of our divorce without digging ourselves deeper and deeper into a negative pit?

The truth is, it doesn’t matter what hardship you are facing, there are always negative things swarming around everywhere. Terrorist attacks, tornadoes, an out-of-control-government, and of course, our wasband continuing to make our lives more difficult.

Changing Our Focus

The answer is in our focus. Whenever something discouraging or depressing comes up, I immediately say a silent prayer to God about it. I ask for help, wisdom, peace and joy.

I try to see every challenging situation as something I can use to grow. I look for realistic solutions. And I take some small action to make things better.

Practicing Thankfulness

Even though there are challenges and dysfunction everywhere we look, there are also many positive, reliable, optimistic strongholds in our lives. There are good things happening every single day, even in the midst of the hardships.

So, If we have to get in a rut, lets get in the rut of continually noticing and appreciating all the things we have to be thankful for, even now.

“The Lord is good. When trouble comes, he is the place to go!” ~ Nahum 1:7 (NIV)

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About the Author:

Suzy developed Midlife Divorce Recovery as a safe refuge for people healing and surviving the overwhelm of divorce. Starting her first RADiCAL support group in 2003 she's been helping women navigate the journey of divorce ever since.

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