radwithsalad“Without our flaws, faults, and foibles, we would be less lovable – much less lovable.”   SARK, Author of  Succulent Wild Women

In a part of her book, Succulent Wild Women, SARK has a section entitled “Radical Self-Accpetance.”  We as R.A.D.I.C.A.L. Women need to practice Radical Self-Acceptance.  After a divorce, especially a divorce in the middle years of life, we are usually anything but self-accepting.  We beat ourselves up for our perceived shortcomings and failures.  We have been told by our wasband’s words or actions that we aren’t good enough even though we know deep in our hearts that we are…  Still, some little part of us whispers in our ear, “maybe if I had been thinner or sexier or smarter or a better listener or (fill in the blank.)”  We intellectually know that we were more than good enough.  But sometimes we are so inundated by the negativity of a spouse who was mired in his own lack of self-acceptance that it rubbed off on us.

SARK in her chapter on Radical Self-Acceptance has this to say: “Drench your self in self-kindness.”  Especially now at this time of year. Stop expecting perfection.  Do the best you can with this day.  Be kind to yourself.  “Women are very good at shining kindness outward.  Turn the kindness spotlight inward.” She continues: “Find ways to expand radical self-acceptance in your life.   Shift your focus.”

I, myself, live under siege from the inner critic, the judge, and the ‘pusher.’  I‘m studying these selves of my personality and giving them new jobs …. far away.  How do we, instead of criticizing, judging and pushing ourselves, can we nourish ourselves? (Besides food?)  Nourishing touch?  Nourishing walks?  Nourishing books?  Nourishing words?  Nourishing naps?  Nourishing self-talk?  The nourishment starts on the inside when we tell ourselves and others the truth and identify what we really want and need.

Satisfy your hungers for:

• Spirituality

• Connection

• Creative expression

• Physical movement

• Conscious breathing

• Being of service

During this hectic holiday season, slow down; calm down; accept imperfection.  Realize that the card you’ve been dealt is a very difficult one and it takes a lot of energy and vigilance and determination to rise above it in confidence and love.  Totally accept where you are this very moment.  There is plenty of time for self-improvement.  What you want to concentrate on today and this whole weekend, as SARK says, is “Succulent Wild Wonderful (and R.A.D.I.C.A.L.) you!

“I thank you, High God –you’re breathtaking!  Body and soul, I am marvelously made.  I worship in adoration  — what a creation!”  Psalm 139:14 (The Message)