The Time Being and Surviving Divorce

2018-01-10T18:10:52+00:00

dont take day for granted

“Things never were ‘the way they used to be.’ Things never will be ‘the way it’s going to be someday.’ Things are always just the way they are for the time being. And the time being is always in motion.”  Alexander Evangeli Xenopouloudakis – Character in a Novel by Robert Fulgham

Sometimes we romanticize about the past. Sometimes in looking back, we think it was better than it was, or that we want to go back. During my divorce, I know I did. There are some things I would like to go back to. Some things I would like to change. Some things that were just wonderful. I loved most parts of my life. But there are things, too, that were not good. Things I accepted that I shouldn’t have. Things that could have been done better.

But you know what? The past is past. We can’t do one thing about it, now. Humans aren’t perfect. We learn from our successes and our mistakes. We move forward to another day, and we can take lessons from the past into the present. But all of us, divorced or not, have to leave the past behind. And sometimes in our effort to leave the past behind, we put too much emphasis on the future and not enough on the moment at hand. The “time being.” What are we being right now?

The future is uncertain and scary and worrisome. But we do have this moment, right now. Let’s take the time being and be thankful for everything good. Just close your eyes and be grateful for a hot cup of coffee and warm sweats or a great piece of toast with blackberry jam. Be thankful that you can turn on the tap and fill your glass with clear, clean water. Be thankful you have the chance to choose how your day will be. Will the time being be for remorse or thankfulness? Will it be for regret or rejoicing? Choose joy. Choose hope. Choose to do something good. Choose to be kind to yourself and others. Choose now what you want for the time being and be glad.

“This is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it.”
Ps 118:24

About the Author:

Suzy developed Midlife Divorce Recovery as a safe refuge for people healing and surviving the overwhelm of divorce. Starting her first RADiCAL support group in 2003 she's been helping women navigate the journey of divorce ever since.