Tips To Stop Obsessing About Him After Divorce

Tips To Stop Obsessing About Him After Divorce


“Every woman has at least one humiliating story of obsession.” ~ Linda Sunshine, She’s Just That Into You – The No Excuse Truth About Women’s Obsessions With Men

Signs Of Obsession

I’ve shared from this book before. It is not worth more than the $1.00 I paid for it, but it definitely gives a very accurate in-your-face look at some of the ridiculous things that women do to cope with lost love. If we are truly honest with ourselves, all of us who have experienced divorce have probably done a few of the things in this book.

For example, here is what it says on the back: “Some early signs you’re obsessed: Are you spending more than 14 hours in bed? Do you go to church or temple only to pray he’ll come back to you? Are you frequently misplacing your keys, your wallet, your children and/or your sense of humor? Are you wearing your pajamas to the supermarket?”

Get A Grip & Upgrade

Inside, there is also a list of Stalking Dos and Don’ts including: “Do follow him in your car; Don’t hit him with your car; Do wait outside his house for him to come home, Don’t break into his house and wait for him in the basement.”

Okay, the book is funny and I’m glad I bought because it reminded me about how ridiculous it is to obsess about someone who has moved on. It reminded me to get a grip and stop those absolutely self-destructive, obsessive behaviors. And as Ms. Sunshine says toward the back of the book, “Getting dumped is always and opportunity for an upgrade. ALWAYS.”

Real Wisdom

Here’s a suggestion for a really great read: Proverbs. That’s reading that provides real Wisdom. Stop doing those humiliating, embarrassing things that demonstrate that you don’t value yourself and you don’t trust God. Move on, and definitely don’t do anything you might have to go to jail for!

“Lady Wisdom will be your close friend and Brother Knowledge your pleasant companion.  Good Sense will scout ahead for danger, Insight will keep an eye out for you.” ~ Proverbs 2:10-12 (The Message)

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About the Author:

Suzy developed Midlife Divorce Recovery as a safe refuge for people healing and surviving the overwhelm of divorce. Starting her first RADiCAL support group in 2003 she's been helping women navigate the journey of divorce ever since.


  1. elaine April 27, 2016 at 6:33 pm - Reply

    I try not to see my wasband…although curiosity always gets the best, and we (my kids and I) speculate about what his apartment must look like, or what he’s doing on a holiday, and whether or not his girlfriend is new or if he’s had her in “the wings” for a while before we kicked him out. We wish he would of moved out of town, so we don’t have to accidently run into him somewhere. I have purposely changed locations of banks, dentists, eye doctors, I even go shopping a few towns over, so as to not awkwardly have to see him. Besides I have an Order of Protection against him, so he cannot stalk us during the divorce proceedings. And that is another whole nightmare saga, in itself!

  2. Yvonne May 29, 2017 at 2:59 pm - Reply

    Thank you for your very sensible (and sometimes humourous comments) They make me feel sane and normal.I am one and a half years on now and the tears are less.I have managed to keep my head and God has worked in so many wonderful ways which I couldn’t have forseen. I have a job, my children, my house and loads of friends and whilst the sadness lingers like a cloud it is gradually evaporating as the sunshine comes more frequently.

  3. Donna Riggs November 5, 2018 at 10:59 pm - Reply

    The articals were inspiring. I am on 15 months from seperation and 6 months divorced. It is getting better I keep in mind that my higher power is watching over me and he has a plan for the rest of my life. So far he has not failed me and I am no longer abused or critized
    I am peaceful with where I’ve been and peaceful with what I’ve been through and peaceful with where I’m heading.

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