“Every woman has at least one humiliating story of obsession.” ~ Linda Sunshine, She’s Just That Into You – The No Excuse Truth About Women’s Obsessions With Men
Signs Of Obsession
I’ve shared from this book before. It is not worth more than the $1.00 I paid for it, but it definitely gives a very accurate in-your-face look at some of the ridiculous things that women do to cope with lost love. If we are truly honest with ourselves, all of us who have experienced divorce have probably done a few of the things in this book.
For example, here is what it says on the back: “Some early signs you’re obsessed: Are you spending more than 14 hours in bed? Do you go to church or temple only to pray he’ll come back to you? Are you frequently misplacing your keys, your wallet, your children and/or your sense of humor? Are you wearing your pajamas to the supermarket?”
Get A Grip & Upgrade
Inside, there is also a list of Stalking Dos and Don’ts including: “Do follow him in your car; Don’t hit him with your car; Do wait outside his house for him to come home, Don’t break into his house and wait for him in the basement.”
Okay, the book is funny and I’m glad I bought because it reminded me about how ridiculous it is to obsess about someone who has moved on. It reminded me to get a grip and stop those absolutely self-destructive, obsessive behaviors. And as Ms. Sunshine says toward the back of the book, “Getting dumped is always and opportunity for an upgrade. ALWAYS.”
Here’s a suggestion for a really great read: Proverbs. That’s reading that provides real Wisdom. Stop doing those humiliating, embarrassing things that demonstrate that you don’t value yourself and you don’t trust God. Move on, and definitely don’t do anything you might have to go to jail for!
“Lady Wisdom will be your close friend and Brother Knowledge your pleasant companion. Good Sense will scout ahead for danger, Insight will keep an eye out for you.” ~ Proverbs 2:10-12 (The Message)
Hi to all on here, I can relate to some part of each of your stories in some way. You are not alone. Here’s a story for you all. I met the ex when I was 17, in highschool. He seemed good. He wanted to be around me always, charming, etc. We dated for 5 years while I put myself through university and he worked at dead end jobs. We finally got married and had our first child one year later. I experienced post partum depression quite severely. I recovered although it took almost two years. The first time he cheated he came home at 5 in the morning and said he had met another girl and was leaving me for her. My daughter was 18 months old. He holed up in his mother’s house, who always enabled him. After 3 months he agreed he was wrong and wanted back in. We did counselling and he seemed “better”. About a year and half later he called one day to pick him up from work early. He’d been suspended, almost fired, for looking at porn in excess of 40 times a day in his work computer. We were trying for our second child st that time. He begged and cried and said he was addicted and needed help. I believed it. I forgave him and did all I could to help him get better. Then about 3 years later he was brought home in a police car at midnight. He’d picked up a prostitute who was an undercover cop. He swore it was his “first time” trying this and refused to leave the home when I told him to leave. I was 3 days away from the due date with our third child, the car was now impounded and he would… Read more »
I just filed for divorce a couple weeks ago after 12 years of marriage with 2 kids and 5 years of dating before that. Needless to say the last few years we got in a slump of working, kids, life in general but at the beginning of the year he began acting weird. He was taking ALOT of time off from work. He would be gone days at a time supposedly hunting or fishing and when I’d confront him about it he’d get defensive saying he needed time to relax. Well dont we all. I mean I work 40 hours a week and take care of 2 kids and a home. We also worked different schedules so he was awake while I was asleep and vice versa. So there was definitely a breakdown in spending time together. Needless to say something was up so one night I checked his fb messenger which I never did bc I felt like I could trust him up until then. I found a conversation with a female friend of his about another girl who he said he loved and he was trying to divorce me. I was floored. I knew we needed to work on our issues but never realized there was someone else. Turns out this someone else was an 18 year old fast food worker and he is 33 years old. So that added to my disgust. Our son is only 6 years younger than this girl. I gave him the chance to work it out by going to therapy and cutting all ties with her and any mutual friends but he refused. He blames me saying I didnt give him enough attention but doesnt seem to understand that wasnt really possible considering he was never home especially on his off days… Read more »