“Deep, unspeakable suffering may well be called a baptism, a regeneration, the initiation into a new state.” George Eliot
This midlife divorce recovery blog is supposed to be encouraging, so it’s with hesitation that I bring up “deep, unspeakable suffering.” And someone who hasn’t been through a midlife divorce might think I’m being overly dramatic. But, if we’re truthful, most of us have been in that very place especially during the early days of our journey. And during the holidays when everyone else seems to be caught up in the celebrations, some of us are feeling even the loss of the normal stresses of the season. We know that many others in this economic climate are struggling, but at least, we think, they’re struggling with someone they love. We think we’re the one lone elf by herself, while everyone else is laughing and making toys together. So that’s another loss to acknowledge. But I’ve been reading about the fact that we can’t overcome a problem unless we name it and face it and deal with it. So not acknowledging suffering doesn’t help. Lingering everlastingly over it doesn’t help either. But let’s accept that we have all suffered emotionally, physically, socially and in many other ways. So, now what? Let’s recognize the pain and then understand that the very pain we hate can, as the author above suggests, initiate us into a new state. And that state is a state of deeper understanding, fresh perspective, and new power. Instead of focusing on the harm our divorce has done, let’s focus on the positive lessons we are learning because of it. And even with the holidays, lets focus on our initiation into a different level of appreciation — a level that goes above and beyond anything physical … the gifts, the decorations, the specific food at dinner; a level at the spiritual heart of it — that place of transcendence. Desperate suffering can get you to that place. It’s painful but in the end, it’s worth it.
“‘I am the Alpha and the Omega ,’ says the Lord God, ‘who is and who was and who is to come, the Almighty.'” Revelation 1:8