Okay, it’s almost Valentine’s Day and your Valentine is gone. Or your ex-valentine has a valentine of his own, and it isn’t you. How do you handle all that rage, bitterness, and if you’re honest … the desperate sadness you may feel on Valentine’s Day after divorce?
You could be like the millennials and younger who are starting Anti-Valentine’s Day events like Luv Sux and The Bitter Ball. Or you can bravely sign up for a MeetUp Singles Valentine Day Dance and go, even though I can’t think of anything I’d rather not do. But maybe that’s just me, and I have no sense of adventure.
Here’s how one of my first St. Valentine’s Days after divorce started out:
On February 14th, I was scheduled for a workout at the gym with my personal trainer. Of course, there were last minute gift suggestions in the paper that morning as I ate breakfast … and on the way to the gym more prodding from the voice on the radio to buy something red or sexy or sweet. At the stop light, A local florist’s delivery truck stopped beside me full of balloon and floral bouquets to dozens of people who actually had a valentine. There were red roses on the counter as I wrote my name on the sign in sheet at the front desk. Little shiny heart confetti was sprinkled around.
By the time my trainer got there I was trying hard to keep my quiet tears from turning into heaving sobs. I kept thinking about the last Valentine’s Day when my wasband’s girlfriend told me what he had bought her for that special day.
Before even one trip around the circuit trainer, I turned around, walked to my car and drove back home crying and mad at myself for letting this dumb, stupid, commercialized day of love get to me like that.