Warrior Women


“Either you let your life slip away by not doing the things you want to do, or you get up and do them.”   Carl Ally (Hard-hitting, high-flying advertising guru)

In a Book about creativity called “A Kick in the Seat of the Pants,” author Roger von Oech talks about the Warrior in each of us. The Warrior in us is the action part of who we are. The Warrior takes an idea, a “what if,” and makes it happen. A Warrior is bold. A Warrior is confident and follows through with her course of action. Today, I’m going to visualize myself as a Warrior. In fact, in my book, Radical Recovery, I talk about becoming a Warrior Woman.

Let’s set a goal and go after it. Whether it’s to get in better shape, or go back to school, or get some job training for a new work opportunity, or to just grab hold of a new interest we have discovered, let’s quit prissing around and do something today to make it happen.  And do something tomorrow and the next day. I’ve found that if a goal also has the merit of being good for us or good for our community or good for someone, it’s easier to get motivated to get moving.

A Warrior Woman doesn’t just sit around wishing things were different or better. She MAKES them better …. so let’s all be Warrior Women today about something. About something good. Like Dr. Barrie Director of Christian Psychological Services in Lawrence, KS said at a Kansas City RADiCAL Boot Camp, “Imagine yourself with a machete in your hand and cut your path!” Our midlife divorce instead of being a great catastrophe, might be just the motivation we need to accomplish things we never thought possible!

And remember this:  ” … the Lord is with me like a mighty warrior …”   Jeremiah 20:11a  and this one, too:  “The battle belongs to the Lord.”

We have God himself to give us courage.  And a whole “army” full of other RADiCAL women to stand with us.  Those to facts alone should propel us forward as Warrior Women ourselves.  Don’t forget to try the WonderWoman pose we talked about in the blog yesterday.  Take up as much space as you can for two minutes:  Hands on your hips; legs shoulder-width apart, shoulders back, head up.  Take some deep breaths and take advantage of all the support you have within and without.  Feel the anxiety be released.  Feel the power  and courage take it’s place.  Then go boldly forward.

I want to ask you begin your training now! Write down the kind of woman you are going to be in the comment section below. It’s important to start thinking in terms of what you want to be and who you want to be.

And you must ban all those Naughty, Naughty words from your vocabulary… I can’t…I shouldn’t…I’m worried that … I fear that … I doubt that … I don’t believe that … Never … No way … Impossible.”

That’s from Enough, Dammit: A cynic’s guide to finally getting what you want out of life.
By Karen Salmansohn.

Do it! Tell us what you want to get out of your life!

About the Author:

Suzy developed Midlife Divorce Recovery as a safe refuge for people healing and surviving the overwhelm of divorce. Starting her first RADiCAL support group in 2003 she's been helping women navigate the journey of divorce ever since.


  1. elaine April 15, 2016 at 9:02 pm - Reply

    I am trying to learn to be more self confident! I need to set that example for my daughters. I have got to stop second guessing myself and my abilities. I am mostly learning to gain confidence in finances and home repair projects. Especially finances, now I have to make decisions alone, without someone to bounce them off of. Not that ex was very good at it, but now I have to make sure I am on the right path, since it’s up to me to support the house and the five us us. Me and four kids, one son, and three daughters.

  2. Tuna4 (Lisa) May 10, 2016 at 1:06 pm - Reply

    I keep being told I come across as this extremely self confident woman– my goal is to actually FEEL confident in every step I take- no more what ifs, no more -but–, no more I’m scared if it doesn’t work. I’m going to take the bull by the horns and just do it. My daughter lives by the philosophy that: ” life is an adventure so go explore”– I’m going to try to live like that along with motto that life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it.

  3. Kelley Elisabeth-Fisher May 15, 2016 at 9:40 pm - Reply

    I love he 10% happens to us….90% how we react. It is so true but difficult to fully embrace individually. I am not sure what kind of warrior woman I wish to be just yet, although I am two classes away from completing my two year educational goals, qualifying me to reenter the job market and teach English. It has been a difficult and lifesaving journey during this divorce nightmare. Keep moving forward ladies, we have so much more to experience, share and give in life. ling healthy is the only way we can appreciate our future selves.
    Thank you Suzy for the guidance to you provide in order to tread this path with others and not get as lost:)


  4. Sandra November 3, 2016 at 1:27 am - Reply

    After 14 months I feel like my “self” is finally emerging. There is so much about my life that I am enjoying again with real excitement. Perhaps that is another reason for my anger because the divorce not only impacted change in my external world, it also influenced my internal dreams and happiness. I feel like I am enjoying life again. This time though, I am enjoying them solely for me. My ex took the company that we had built, and now I get an opportunity to build something for myself that no one can ever take again. Money, career, family, friends, and activities are now all about me and my personal success. It’s a wonderful feeling to build for myself and by myself because I am worth all that I can create.
    Thanks Suzy for having the strength to create and the wisdom to share with all of us. You are certainly an inspiration of what the next chapter can be like.
    We are all limited only by our resistance to dream bigger.

  5. Mindy July 7, 2017 at 4:40 pm - Reply

    I left an abusive marriage after almost 30 years. All I’ve ever known during that time is how to be controlled by someone else. I want to take control of my life again! I struggle everyday but I am working on becoming a stronger woman! I want to be a warrior! It’s time to take my life back!

  6. Sharon Aldrine April 20, 2018 at 6:23 pm - Reply

    I got divorced last July after 40 years of being married to a narcissist sociopath. I don’t feel like being anything or doing anything as my X has turned family against me with a smear campaign.
    Just don’t feel like I know what to do or when to do it anymore. Belong to a Diviorce Care Group, have been seeing a therapist since last May 1st.
    Blong to a Bible Study class. Do good, then he starts his stuff again against me. He and his fiancé even filed false assault charges against me.
    I am so devastated as did everything for this jerk more than for anybody else with more than half my life. The pain he is causing me and I am letting it is unbearable. I know he is a p

  7. Tanya October 12, 2018 at 5:03 pm - Reply

    I was married for 15 years.I am 13 month after my ex abandoned me and left to live with his much younger girlfriend. I was doing much better, but allowed him to come back….He left again and my wounds open again….But this time I make a decision never trust him again and become stronger woman. I want to respect myself and learn to live and enjoy life as a single person. I am going to fight for myself!

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