“Either you let your life slip away by not doing the things you want to do, or you get up and do them.” Carl Ally (Hard-hitting, high-flying advertising guru)
In a Book about creativity called “A Kick in the Seat of the Pants,” author Roger von Oech talks about the Warrior in each of us. The Warrior in us is the action part of who we are. The Warrior takes an idea, a “what if,” and makes it happen. A Warrior is bold. A Warrior is confident and follows through with her course of action. Today, I’m going to visualize myself as a Warrior. In fact, in my book, Radical Recovery, I talk about becoming a Warrior Woman.
Let’s set a goal and go after it. Whether it’s to get in better shape, or go back to school, or get some job training for a new work opportunity, or to just grab hold of a new interest we have discovered, let’s quit prissing around and do something today to make it happen. And do something tomorrow and the next day. I’ve found that if a goal also has the merit of being good for us or good for our community or good for someone, it’s easier to get motivated to get moving.
A Warrior Woman doesn’t just sit around wishing things were different or better. She MAKES them better …. so let’s all be Warrior Women today about something. About something good. Like Dr. Barrie Director of Christian Psychological Services in Lawrence, KS said at a Kansas City RADiCAL Boot Camp, “Imagine yourself with a machete in your hand and cut your path!” Our midlife divorce instead of being a great catastrophe, might be just the motivation we need to accomplish things we never thought possible!
And remember this: ” … the Lord is with me like a mighty warrior …” Jeremiah 20:11a and this one, too: “The battle belongs to the Lord.”
We have God himself to give us courage. And a whole “army” full of other RADiCAL women to stand with us. Those to facts alone should propel us forward as Warrior Women ourselves. Don’t forget to try the WonderWoman pose we talked about in the blog yesterday. Take up as much space as you can for two minutes: Hands on your hips; legs shoulder-width apart, shoulders back, head up. Take some deep breaths and take advantage of all the support you have within and without. Feel the anxiety be released. Feel the power and courage take it’s place. Then go boldly forward.
I want to ask you begin your training now! Write down the kind of woman you are going to be in the comment section below. It’s important to start thinking in terms of what you want to be and who you want to be.
And you must ban all those Naughty, Naughty words from your vocabulary… I can’t…I shouldn’t…I’m worried that … I fear that … I doubt that … I don’t believe that … Never … No way … Impossible.”
That’s from Enough, Dammit: A cynic’s guide to finally getting what you want out of life.
By Karen Salmansohn.
Do it! Tell us what you want to get out of your life!
Warrior women unite! I am 52 and was married for 22 years. Now I have run 5Ks, a half-marathon, just joined CrossFit, lost weight, wear my hair shorter, laugh more, joke more, not afraid to speak my mind. It is so nice not having the toxic ex around to kill my mojo! My kids love Mom 2.0! My friends enjoy me more and I enjoy them more too!
I will be a warrior by continuing to live the power of truth. To be the same person to kids kids and grandkids extended family and friends as I’ve always been. I will be a warrior woman by continuing to pray for my children continuing to work and stay focused on not losing it and being swallowed by the pain. I will be a warrior by loving all those left around me with all that I have. I will be transparent share my grief as needed and go on in strength. I will be a warrior by showing my son and my daughters how to remain honorable when you have been blindsided, betrayed & abandoned. I will be a warrior by being me. Conquering my fears and continuing life knowing I AM valuable -although to do so requires private tears prayers and so much faith! I will be a warrior by keeping my faith when my feelings and emotions say otherwise. I will be a warrior by being a strong mother dependable trustworthy & consistent. Even when I feel so broken at times. This is the remedy to keep going. To overcome. Lastly. – be a warrior by making yourself THANK GOD FOR THE GOOD THATS IN YOUR FUTURE THAT YOU DO NOT YET SEE !
Great article! I was married when i was 21.i was with my ex around 14months.In these months,he betrayed me a lot..As i am from Banglades., a lot of things has happened to divorced girls especially mentally torture by closeone. Now i want to a person who will not beg to anyone for love & care. I wanna to be a strong person with proper financial background . I want to bring changes to the girls of the world and to travel many places ovf the world.
I was married for 18 years and almost two years past divorce now. It is getting a bit easier overtime but the healing process is painfully slow. I loved reading all the comments to this article. It is a good feeling knowing there are so many of us in the same boat fighting for our lives. My idea of being a warrior woman right now is get up and go to work every day and do my best. Take care of myself and my daughter the best I can. Not drown in self pity and despair. Pay attention to how I am feeling and honor myself. One step at a time. I’ve read lots of books and articles and listened to lots of podcasts on healing and becoming more self-confident. I now know that no matter what he does or says, it doesn’t matter. What matters is what I do or say. It’s my life. What I think and feel matters. I am determined to become whole again and live a good life. I am determined to enjoy my life. To live here and now.
I have been divorced for five years, however I live in the South. Divorced, even from abuse, means losing friends and opportunities here such as jobs and even volunteer work. Has anyone successfully overcome (without the control deciding for you) from similar circumstances? I’ve healed much from the marriage but this mindset is not something I anticipated.
From this moment own I am taking ownership of my life – past, present and future – all of it.
I will define my own life. The single cruelest thing John did was to steal my memories – he never really loved me, our family trips were not happy healthy times….
He made me question my sense of reality. I thought we fell in love, that we married, loved each other, had five children, held our youngest as she died shortly after birth, raised four beautiful, strong successful women, beat cancer, enjoyed family traditions, worked hard, built a beautiful home – lived and loved, I’m taking it back! Love was and will always be what I lived.
I will live love each day and that will build my future – whatever comes. I will believe in love, This is the life God has given me and it is beautiful. God is love.
This is the day the Lord has made.
Goals? Dreams? What do I want to be? I was abused emotionally, physically, and sexually by my mother when I was growing up. She planned everthing about my life: clothes, friends (or lack thereof), activities, college, wedding, everything. Then when I was married, my husband was emotionally abusive keeping me from my sisters and other friends. After close to 34 years of marriage, he left. Now, at 62, I have no idea what my passion is. I am estranged from my children thanks to my husband’s badmouthing me (and he was the cheater!), I have no friends and have learned not to trust anyone. I lost my home, my family, my neighbors, and my job only to live in a small rental with my dog. I have tried to think about what I like – or used to like. Do I feel like a warrior woman? Far from it. She would beat me up. And I would know I deserve it.
Coming out of abusive relationships are very difficult….our sense of self-worth is pretty much nil. The only way I have found healing from abuse is GOD showing me who I am in HIM…Jesus came for the broken and rejected to make us whole in HIM. It is a process…but HE is so patient and when it seems like everyone has forsaken us…HE never will. I was trying to make a narcissistic abusive marriage work for 28 years…I ended up in a psychiatric hospital on 2 different occasions with severe depression. Abuse tells us we are worthless…GOD tells us we are a beautiful creation. Kristi…my heart goes out to you. I could lose everything, too, when my divorce is over…but GOD has breathed life back into this crushed spirit and I pray that you will be able to see that you truly are a beautiful creation. I don’t understand why we end up in families that are abusive…I pray that God will reveal your true identity in HIM through all you have been through.