How Do You Measure Success After Divorce?


“The only thing that stands between a man and what he wants from life is often merely the will to try it, and the faith to believe that it is possible.” ~ Richard M. DeVos, billionaire entrepreneur

Survival Steps

We can’t succeed at anything until we have the expectation that we CAN succeed. There will be days while you are going through a midlife divorce, where success is merely facing the day. And that’s alright. The small, early steps in recovery are a necessary part of the journey to reach your future, grand goals.

Early on in my divorce, my goal was simply to make it through the day. It was quite challenging at first, but the more I kept making myself “get up, take a shower, fix my face, get dressed, eat something and get moving,” the easier it became.

Looking Forward

Once you are able to make it though the survival steps everyday, you are ready to look forward. What do you want the rest of your life to look like? What are your goals? What will make your life joyful and fulfilling?

Early on, you have to believe you can make it to Thursday. Now we have to believe we can make our lives whatever we want them to be. It’s up to us, because the only thing that will get in our way is to stop believing we can do whatever we want to do.

“…with God, all things are possible.” ~ Matthew 19:26B (RSV)

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About the Author:

Suzy developed Midlife Divorce Recovery as a safe refuge for people healing and surviving the overwhelm of divorce. Starting her first RADiCAL support group in 2003 she's been helping women navigate the journey of divorce ever since.

One Comment

  1. Michele Martini January 15, 2018 at 2:33 am - Reply

    I thought I was moving forward, at least more than just trying to make it to tomorrow. But, I’ve found that I’m not there yet and it’s been 4 years. I’m still having dreams about my wasband and I wake up drained and deeply sad. I think that perhaps the other current losses and demands in my life are taking much of the energy I need to put into moving forward farther than I have been. I’m really looking forward to getting my first month’s packet. I want to leap forward into a new life, but right now, all I feel like doing is eating cookies and curling up on the sofa under a quilt….

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