Guest Blog: Dating After Divorce – The #1 Thing To Do Now 

Anxious. Scared. Excited. Apprehensive. Curious. Joyful. Adventurous. What if…? You may be experiencing all of these emotions, and more, as you consider dating after divorce.

The #1 thing to do before jumping back into dating is to really reflect on where you are in your recovery from your divorce. Even if the divorce was your idea, it takes time to heal, grieve, and eventually…move on.

It would be very easy to skip the recovery step and attempt to date. Working on yourself can be a tough reality check. But it can also be joyfully enlightening! If you skip it, what will likely happen is not pretty…

  • Attaching to a man who isn’t worthy of you,
  • Being hurt by a man who was pure trouble from the beginning,
  • Getting into a relationship with someone exactly like your ex-husband, since unknowingly, that’s your comfort zone, (dangerous)
  • Or… Choosing someone exactly the opposite, given you are venomously looking for a man who is “nothing like him.” (still dangerous)

Which of those choices spells something worthy of wonderful you? None. Those are situations that are product of a rushed decision that was fueled by fear and hurt. Fear of being alone. Fear of not being good enough. Fear of… finish that sentence for yourself.

Dealing with and releasing your emotional clutter is crucial to reaching the point where you are truly ready to move on, without any nagging feelings of anger, hurt and resentment.

When you’re ready, it’s time to date deliberately. Dating after 50 (or dating after 60) takes courage – the courage to try, to risk, the courage to believe it could work out, and the courage to walk away if it doesn’t. Not every man deserves a chance, and not every man will be a match for you either. As you embark on the dating process, remember that you are worthy!

About Debra Kun:  As a catalyst for deliberate change, Debra Kunz is an executive coach, inspiring speaker and the award-winning author of the personal enrichment book Love is Blind Only if You Are: A Woman’s Clear-Headed Guide to Deliberate Dating. Written from her soul, this powerful, fun and comprehensive guide creates laughter, support, and self-awareness, and inspires a new perspective on yourself and how you define Mr. Right. More info at www.deliberatedating.com.