Who am I after divorce? An answer

Who am I after divorce? An answer

2014-02-28T18:59:30+00:00

“Your problem is how you are going to spend this one odd and precious life you have been issued.  Whether you are going to live it trying to look good and creating the illusion that you have power over people and circumstances, or whether you are going to taste it, enjoy it, and find out the truth about who you are.”  Anne Lamott in Plan B – Further Thoughts on Faith

During a midlife divorce, you wonder.  You ask, “Who am I now?  I don’t even know what I want my name to be … do I keep my name?  Do I take back the name I was given at birth?  Who am I without him?  Who am I without that label … Mrs. Somebody?  Who am I own my own?  What is the truth about who I am and what I’m doing with this “odd and precious life I’ve been issued?”

When we figure out who we are … (and we never will completely until this life is over and lots of things will be explained including who my best self has always been!) …. when we figure out even a small bit of who we really are, life is transformed.  We can relax a little.  We no longer have to pretend that we have all the answers.  We don’t have to try to make people think we are in control of the world.  We can learn to just let go and be what we have been created to be.

Do you think a bright red tulip agonizes over what it is?  No.  It just is in all its strong, bright glory.  But here’s the deal:  One thing we are … is light.  The Bible tells us we are God’s light.  We are the light of God on this planet earth.  That is an absolutely incredible, awesome, mind-bowing thought! That fact means we don’t have to work so hard at making ourselves something.

God has already made us his light … and he puts us on a lamp stand.  He sets us as a beacon on top of a hill.  So today, let’s stop working so hard trying to figure out everything and fix everything.  Our job is to taste, life …. all of it …. the good, the bad and the ugly … learn from it and then shine, no matter what!
So, go ahead live your one odd precious life fully and freely and joyfully and … BEAM ON!

“Here’s another way to put it:  you’re here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world.  God is not a secret to be kept; we’re going public with this, as public as a city on a hill.  If I make you light-bearers, you don’t think I’m going to hide you under a bucket do you?  I’m putting you on a light stand.  Now that I’ve put you there on a hill top —  on a light stand — shine!  Keep open house!  Be generous with your lives.  By opening up to others, you’ll prompt others to open up to God, this generous Father in heaven.”  Matthew 5:14-16 (The Message)

About the Author:

Suzy developed Midlife Divorce Recovery as a safe refuge for people healing and surviving the overwhelm of divorce. Starting her first RADiCAL support group in 2003 she's been helping women navigate the journey of divorce ever since.