Who survives divorce and who doesn’t?

Who survives divorce and who doesn’t?

2018-01-10T18:10:48+00:00

“The sign on the road as you come into Parris Island says, ‘WHERE THE DIFFERENCE BEGINS,’ adds Father Osendorf, ‘But to me it’s more than that, it’s where the transformation begins.'”  Thomas Ricks, author of Making the Corps

Since I conduct Divorce Recovery Boot Camps, I have studied what soon-to-be soldiers do in boot camp.  I read a book a while back about the making of a Marine.  As I read, I thought about my owns sons and grandsons (and possibly daughters and granddaughters) and wonder if I would want them going through what these young people go through to become Marines.

The kind of person you end up with after Marine Boot Camp is a person of courage, trustworthiness, dependability, strength and honor.  But getting to that point is tough.  Really, really, really tough.  Lots of young people don’t make it through Marine boot camp.  But I’m more convinced than ever that most transformations worth having require discipline, toughness, commitment, courage and the willingness to hang in there under real body-testing, emotion-draining, soul-straining pressure.  (Think of your divorce.)

Hard challenges make you stronger.  Life-altering adversity makes you reach down deep to see what you’re really made of.  Being at the end of your rope makes even strong, grown people cry, but also makes you stronger when you survive.  If you are determined to be a Marine (or be a woman who will not be destroyed by divorce, who  perseveres through the tough stuff, who  has the courage to see the good even through the pain) then it all begins in your mind.

Reaching the goal you want begins by saying to yourself, “I want to do this!  I can do this!  I will do this!  I am going to do this starting right now!”  You use all of the self-discipline you have and you call in all the power of God and your friends and your other supporters to help. And then minute-by-minute, hour-by-hour, day-by-day you do it one step at a time.

And believe me, when you get through your own personal boot camp, your trip through divorce, you have a new power and a new confidence and a quiet, proud assurance that you will not only survive, but that you can do anything you set your mind to!  The transformation happens.  You just have to decide you want it and then do what it takes to achieve it.  We’re here to help.

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God.”  Romans 12:1