Your Brain After Divorce


“Stop thinking in terms of limitations and start thinking in terms of possibilities.” ~ Terry Josephson, Motivational speaker

I have a tradition of sending each of my grandchildren a back-to-school letter each year. I want to encourage them to take advantage of the amazing opportunity to learn cool new stuff.  I have always loved school, even as a parent and grandparent. If I’m totally honest, however, I did not actually love 7th and 8th grade. Even though I was intrigued by the new books and classes, I was definitely more into my limitations than into life possibilities during my junior high years. I felt not quite as cool as everyone else seemed to feel.

It turns out many of my junior high insecurities resurfaced when I was going through my midlife divorce. But like I told my grandson (who is starting the 7th grade) in his letter, everyone is just trying to figure out how to fit in.  Some people are better at making themselves seem cool.  And others will try to make you feel dumb. Anyone come to mind?  I told him to be confident in who God made him to be and to just be his wonderful, friendly, smart self.  I also reassured him not to worry so much (like I did) about what everyone thought and just work hard and have fun.

I went back to college in 1992. I had never quite graduated the first go around because I had to change schools several times following my wasband around, and we got hungry. But going back to college and graduating as an adult was an amazingly invigorating experience. That exhilaration about learning came back full force!

Take this opportunity after your divorce to enroll in something you find intellectually stimulating. Don’t worry that you might be the oldest person in class; forget about impressing people. You can find a class about anything. This is the perfect time to fill your mind with possibilities rather than limitations. (And by the way I have found very few people who actually liked 7th and 8th grade that much)! But we all survived it, just like we’ll all survive divorce, too.  And the future will be brighter than you can imagine right now!  Just use your brain, be yourself,   work hard and have fun!  There’s no telling what cool things you’ll learn!

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” ~ Philippians 4:13 (NIV)

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About the Author:

Suzy developed Midlife Divorce Recovery as a safe refuge for people healing and surviving the overwhelm of divorce. Starting her first RADiCAL support group in 2003 she's been helping women navigate the journey of divorce ever since.

One Comment

  1. Michael October 19, 2012 at 5:43 am - Reply

    Like, in Guyana, they have less divorce than conieruts like Denmark, so does that mean they value financial security more for , since divorced struggle more monetarily? Wouldn’t it be better to be a wife in Guyana than in Denmark, since they divorce less and thus, provide well for Guyanese ? Doesn’t that mean they respect them more?

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