Your Choice After Divorce

2018-01-10T18:10:28+00:00

“And we have another choice — to accept what we didn’t get to choose.” ~ Sue Bender, Plain and Simple Wisdom 

Acceptance

Most of you reading this did not want to be divorced. Most of us did not choose it. And most of us did everything we could to keep the divorce from happening. I kicked and sobbed and screamed… but it happened anyway.

Eventually I calmed down. I remember finally reaching a moment of acceptance as I was standing in my kitchen. I said to myself, “okay, as much as I didn’t want to be divorced, this is my life now. I am a middle-aged divorced woman. Where do I go from here?”

Moving Forward

A friend of mine once gave me great advice; she said, “do not fight what you inevitably must do.” As hard as it was, I had to come to grips with the fact that I was divorced.

When I faced that fact, it didn’t make me give up, rather I was free to start making plans for the rest of my life. I was no longer wasting my efforts on battles I could not could not win, so I could focus on the life ahead of me.

The Turning Point

Even though that change in battle tactics doesn’t always happen overnight, it is a significant turning point … a mandatory turning point. It was not easy, or fun at first. But I had a huge advantage; I believed that God had a wonderful plan for my life.

Even though I thought early on that I knew what was best. His promise gave me hope and security moving forward, and it turned out to be a breathtaking fulfillment in reality.

Don’t give in to despair. Instead, give up your despair to a new, shimmering hope. Then get busy making it happen. You’ll look back with utter amazement.

“‘For I know the plans I have for you’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'” ~ Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

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About the Author:

Suzy developed Midlife Divorce Recovery as a safe refuge for people healing and surviving the overwhelm of divorce. Starting her first RADiCAL support group in 2003 she's been helping women navigate the journey of divorce ever since.